“Aw, he’s a nice guy. You should give him a chance” “If you don’t stop being so picky, you’re going to wind up alone” “You obviously think you’re too good to date me/my friend/my relative” “I still don’t get why you broke up with ____. You should get back together with him”
Meanwhile, here you are, completely disenchanted with your dating life, not to mention looking around at the available men out there, wondering if this is really all there is. If that sounds familiar, then the problem likely isn’t that you’re too picky. If anything, you’re not being selective enough and you’re right to raise your dating standards.
5 Signs You Need to Raise Your Dating Standards
If your dating history is a string of unfulfilling romantic connections that have brought you nothing but disappointment and left you questioning your choices, the pressure to end up with someone may tempt you to consider lowering the bar of your expectations. However, we’re here to tell you that you need to do exactly the opposite. Here are some sure signs that you really are too good for the men you’ve been settling for and need to raise the bar.
1. You’re bored out of your mind
Every person and every relationship is different, so most people’s dating lives are a mixed bag. Sure, they’ll have their share of bad dates and go-nowhere relationships, but they also have great ones that make them feel fulfilled and wanted. If you look back on your dating past and can’t think of a single guy who didn’t bore you, something’s wrong. Constant boredom in relationships is a sign of dating standards that are way too low. If you start dating people who are sophisticated, worthy, and capable of connecting with you on your level, you won’t be bored anymore.
2. Your partners don’t treat you well
So many incredible young women wrongly believe that if their boyfriends don’t treat them well, it’s somehow their fault. For example, they may worry that they’re being mistreated because they’re not pretty enough or smart enough. Then they respond to that by beating themselves up emotionally and trying even harder to be what they think their partners want. Poor treatment of any kind in a relationship – especially when it’s part of a pattern that spans more than one situation – is proof positive that your standards aren’t even close to being high enough. Abuse and mistreatment of any kind are never OK, regardless of whether someone’s happy with their partner, and they don’t happen when you date people who are worthy of you.
3. Communication feels like pulling teeth
In any relationship, be it between a sugar daddy and sugar baby, partners on equal footing, or same-sex partners, an overlapping social and intellectual territory is essential to speak each other’s language. Even when they’re not getting along or their relationship isn’t destined to go the distance, they still know how to communicate clearly and come to some kind of understanding when it’s warranted. So how does communication typically go in your relationships? Do your partners act like you’re crazy for having what, to you, are basic standards for yourself and the people you allow into your life? Do the men you date complain that you talk over their heads or accuse you of trying to make them feel stupid? The problem could well be that you’re too far out of their league.
4. You have trouble respecting your partners
Enough about how your partners seem to feel about you. How do you feel about them, especially when you view them collectively? Once you get to know these men as people, do you still like them? Do you have trouble respecting your partners because their standards – especially to which they hold themselves – aren’t high enough? You might not actually be the problem, regardless of how many of your exes insist that you are. Although every person is valuable, and no one deserves to be looked down on by their partner, you’re only human. If your partners’ standards aren’t as high as yours, you’ll find it much harder to respect them in the way you would respect a true soulmate.
5. You feel like you carry your relationships
Valuable, intelligent young women with a lot to offer often attract emotionally immature, unmotivated men who expect their girlfriends to be like substitute mothers. In the worst cases, those women wind up in completely unbalanced situations where they’re paying for everything while their partners do nothing but create more work for them. If that sounds like you, it’s time you knew that’s not normal, healthy, or acceptable. A woman like you deserves a sophisticated, successful partner who not only pulls his weight but knows how important it is to spoil his lady now and then. So what are you waiting for? Put your foot down, say goodbye to the deadbeats you’re used to, and start dating men who are genuinely worthy of you. You deserve it, and it’s high time you got it!
