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In doing so, are you playing with fire that can catch your marriage in its spate? What are the risks of reconnecting with an old love who is married? Does rekindling your connection with an old flame indicate there is trouble in your marital paradise? Or is it possible to build a genuine friendship where a romantic connection once existed? We spoke to counseling psychologist Kavita Panyam (Masters in Psychology and international affiliate with the American Psychological Association), who has been helping couples work through their relationship issues for over two decades, for a clearer understanding of the risks and pitfalls one needs to be mindful of when reconnecting with an ex....

The mysterious partner, the knight in shining armor, the lost babe in the woods…all of this is a load of nonsense popular culture has fed us. The perfect partner does not exist and you are inviting disappointment if you think you are blessed enough to find one. Movies and songs might endlessly obsess over love at first sight, but we all know that’s not how things happen. Friendship in marriage is not romanticized, but it is the best blessing one can get....

How did I come to online sex chats? Before I tell you about my online sexual rendezvous, let me take you to my background. I come from a very middle-class conservative family. I married when I was 21, it was an arranged marriage. My husband was 22. I graduated a month back and the next thing I knew was that I was married. At 21 and 22, my husband and I were too young to take the responsibility of marriage....

When you’re in a long-term relationship, a few tumultuous twists and turns along the way are to be expected. Sometimes the swerve from the happy, content connection is minor and manageable, at others, it can bring you to a crossroads that can leave you second-guessing your compatibility as a couple and the future of your relationship. Infidelity, breach of trust, losing the spark, toxic patterns, abusive tendencies, poor or broken down communication or simply feeling that you’ve drifted apart are some of the reasons that can brew trouble in paradise....

For those who wonder, “Why am I jealous in a relationship?” the explanation is in the words of famous author William Penn, “The jealous are troublesome to others but a torment to themselves.” Yes, it is also one of the most common human emotions that each of us experience now and then. However, when one person operates from a place of obsessive jealousy, the equation between partners can become overwhelmingly toxic....

To help you figure out how to snap the chord when your lives are so closely intertwined, we talked to emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada (certified in Psychological and Mental Health First Aid from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health and the University of Sydney), who specializes in counseling for extramarital affairs, breakups, separation, grief, and loss, to name a few. When To End A Relationship The end of a relationship can be an unnerving thought, especially when you’ve been together a long time....

I Decided To Be A Stay-At-Home Dad When our daughter turned five, we decided that one of the parents should be at home while the other worked to keep the kitchen fire burning. We didn’t want to leave her in the care of a nanny while we were away chasing our respective careers, so instead of Nancy leaving her job and becoming a stay-at-home mom, I decided to become a stay-at-home dad to be with our daughter....

Is it normal to have a crush on an older woman? My encounters with the female gender had, in the past, been quite disastrous. This is because I am an introvert. I strongly believe that the art of conversation is something only a few people possess, while the rest of us are left wishing for it. Even during our client visits, she would do most of the talking while I chipped in with nods and “hmms....

So, the ‘naming and shaming game’ continues. This time, it’s our India facing the flak for being the world’s most unsafe country for women. If the recent poll of 548 people conducted online, by phone and in person between March 26th March-May 4th comprising Europe, Africa, the Americas, South East Asia, South Asia and the Pacific, were to be believed, India is an unsafe nation for women. The respondents included aid professionals, academicians, healthcare staff, non-government organisation workers, policy-makers, development specialists and social commentators....

However, from your point of view, your feelings for ex may be a thing of the past, you’re over that phase and value your friendship now more than your past romantic relationship. But think, long and hard, are your partner’s concerns truly unfounded? And is there a way you can make your partner understand how you feel? Can it have repercussions for your current relationship? Talking To An Ex If You Are In A Serious Relationship “My ex and I are best friends, and honestly, my husband doesn’t mind if I talk to my exes....

This time, it’s the case of a young techie in Bangalore who took his life, allegedly over a bad review of his performance at work. A few weeks ago, it was the case of mass suicide by a family of 11 that shook the nation and once again put the focus on questions regarding mental health, belief, faith et al. However, despite mental health becoming a major talking point now in the media (at least as compared to earlier), why are the cases and thoughts of suicide increasing?...

Value differences are not “stupid” to worry about. And if something is valuable to you, you must try to reasonably achieve it in and for your own life. I understand that setting aside value differences with people you love is harder to do, whether it is debating which political party to vote for or which habits are not the most functional in life to have. Value differences become even harder to handle when they are with our spouses....

Dear Counsellor, My in-laws expect me to do housework and look after the children. My husband works in another city and comes back only for weekends. My mother-in-law gives me the silent treatment when he is away and tries to involve him in household chores when he comes for the weekend. This is not my husband’s first marriage. He has two children from a previous marriage, who were raised by their grandparents....

To understand this behavior, we talked to psychologist Pragati Sureka (MA in Clinical Psychology, professional credits from Harvard Medical School), who specializes in addressing issues like anger management, parenting issues, and abusive and loveless marriage through emotional ability resources. She talked us through narcissism and love bombing, abuse cycles, examples and solutions. What Is Narcissistic Love Bombing? Pragati talks to us about the genesis of this term to better understand its essence....

Passive-aggressive communication, like turning your head the other way and saying, “I’m fine, stop bothering me”, when you’re clearly not, is part and parcel of a relationship. However, if your communication suffers severely because of prolonged unresolved hostility, noticing and acknowledging it before it rots your relationship from the inside is critical. With the help of Shazia Saleem (Masters in Psychology), who specializes in separation and divorce counseling, let’s try to understand what passive-aggressive behavior in relationships can look like so you don’t end up misconstruing building resentment for temporary annoyance....

Resentment makes a person bitter and toxic. It creates trust and anger issues and can be detrimental to one’s mental health if left to pester within for too long. Resentment can break the strongest of relationships because it’s a nagging feeling of having been treated unfairly. Dealing with resentment and figuring out how to let go of anger are important. It may seem hard at first but it’s imperative that you learn to let go of it....

When it comes to scents and perfumes, you have to find one that’s best suited for you, and as strange as it may sound, it must match your personality. It may take a bit of experimenting, but the result is always worth it. What Is Science Of Scent? The jury is still out on human pheromones, much to my disappointment. I genuinely believed in them until recently, when a study poured cold water on all researches on the relevance of human pheromones in sexual attraction....

Bill and Melinda Gates caused quite a stir when they announced their separation in May 2021. Divorce after 25 years of marriage! In a Twitter statement, they said, “We continue to share a belief in that mission and will continue our work together at the foundation, but we no longer believe we can grow together as a couple in this next phase of our lives.” Even a cursory glance at the statement may pull you in at the “next phase of our lives” part....

Can You Move On Without Closure? Once upon a time, I had a husband whom I adored and who adored me too. I was still in high school when we met and he was in his freshman year at university. After seven years of embodying relationship goals, we had a small, intimate wedding ceremony in our backyard, followed by one cold beer and one hot Chinese lunch shared with our two guests....

(As told to Joie Bose) Related reading: A beginner’s guide to Divorce The first time, a secret I was 21 when I got married the first time. I was living in Pune with Richard, my teacher from film school, who was 40. My parents didn’t know. They would have been shocked to know that my beau was from a different religion and so much older and that’s why I didn’t tell them....